Brad or Brian or Letha or Reba
Just when you thought the saga of Brad was over, I made a fool of myself once again.
Brad shaved his head and got an earring. Fortunately, my friend Brian, who actually used to date Brad, pointed him out to me at the bar last night. Brian had mercy on me after reading my entry on Brad, Poor, Brad. (It's linked above - you should go read it if you want to really get maximum pleasure out of this story).
So, I smile and walk over to Brad and say, "I remember you. Hi Brad."
Now I am thinking I am the coolest person in the world. He then introduces me to his cousin, Letha.
"Hi, Reba," I say.
"No. Letha," says Letha.
Later on we run into each other again. I introduce my roommate Juju and her boyfriend Metro to Brad and his cousin.
"This is Brad and his cousin, Reba."
"Letha," Brad says.
I can officially no longer face Brad.
For the rest of the night, I drank and danced. And drank. And drank.
Today juju called me at work to remind me of "Hot Toddy's Greatest Moments" last night. Hearing stories of things I said while drunk is one of my favorite pastimes. I only wish you could hear the slurred impression of me that juju does.
Sometimes I am cool drunk. Sometimes I am stupid drunk. Guess which one I was last night?
Curtain up on the Martini Lounge at CC Slaughters:
We see four cool people and one not very cool drunk blogger sitting at a table.
(Hot guy walks by our table)
Me: WOW, THAT GUY IS HOT!!
juju: Todd, he can hear you. You're being very loud.
Me: SO WHAT! WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN? I DON'T CARE IF HE HEARS ME.
juju: The worst thing that could happen is that you could say and do things you wouldn't do sober.
Me: I DON'T CARE. HE'S JUST HOT.
(Suddenly I completely lose interest in the hot guy for no apparent reason)
Me: DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN I WAS DANCING WITH R. I GOT A HARD ON?
juju: Todd, shhh.
Me: I DID. I DON'T CARE IF ANYBODY KNOWS.
juju: Todd, everybody in the bar knows.
Metro: I love you Todd, you are so funny.
Me: I HAD SUCH A HARD ON.
Boy Hunk: I'll be right back. (goes off to look for girls)
Me: R. WAS GRINDING UP AGAINST ME. I AM SO HORNY.
(Metro laughs because he knows this encourages me to keep talking)
Me: SEE THAT GUY OVER THERE? BOY HUNK TOLD ME NOT TO WASTE MY TIME TALKING TO HIM.
(juju gives up trying to remind me to keep my volume down and wisely allows me to rant)
Me: BOY HUNK SAYS THAT GUY BRINGS NOTHING TO THE TABLE AND THAT I SHOULD NOT GO HOME WITH HIM.
Juju drove us home, and in the car I told her that I wish there was a place where gay men could go to show off their minds instead of their bodies. That would be great, huh? I'm sure everyone at the bar was deeply impressed with my intellect last night. Nothing sexier than a loud drunk guy with no social boundaries.
I never did get to say goodnight to Brad and Reba.
I mean Letha.