Good or Evil?
Sometimes I can't figure out which side The Handsome Prince is fighting on. Imagine Han Solo suddenly turning on Princess Leia and firing his laser gun thingy at her. Can you imagine how unexpected this attack would be to her? (Sorry for the extremely dated reference, but I didn't watch the new Star Wars trilogy). This is how it feels to hang out with my best friend. You never know when you will have to duck behind Chewbacca for protection.
When I arrived at the bar last night, THP greeted me warmly and said, "Guess what song I have been singing all day?"
"I'll Cover You," I answered.
THP exclaimed, "Yes!"
The other Yum Yums rolled their eyes at us and mocked us for knowing each other's thoughts. "Oooh, look," snarled Bobo, "they are SO connected. They are on the same wave length!"
If you roll your eyes at me and attempt to berate me, I won't sit there and feel embarrassed. I will taunt you. Don't people know this by now?
"Hey, Handsome Prince, guess which state I am thinking of," I asked him.
"Utah," he shouted.
We could have done it for hours. We think we are so funny.
A few minutes later, THP puts his hand on my chest and says to the other Yum Yums, "I bet Todd could bench press more than any of us," I felt all warm and silly, because complimenting a Libra pushes more buttons than you can begin to imagine.
"In fact, he could probably bench press ME," said THP. At this point I am feeling like someone pushed ALL the buttons on the elevator before they got off, only I'm not frustrated that I will have to stop at every floor. I am just impressed at how pretty all the buttons look when they are pressed.
THP can make me feel so awesome sometimes, but he has an evil mischievous side that catches me off guard. I am learning how to have a gay best friend, and that means preparing for attack at any moment. Claws will come out unexpectedly, and you better prepare to retaliate. I never had a gay best friend before THP. In fact, I didn't used to really get along with gay men, a fact which now surprises me given that I hang with some wicked cool homos now. (I can't pull off the street lingo, can I?)
"I read your blog today," he said.
Thinking there are no more buttons he can push except for the emergency STOP button, I brace myself for more compliments. "Did you like it?" I asked.
"No. It was boring," answered THP. "But I like how when you click on the word ketchup there is a picture of a ketchup bottle."
"If you think my blog is boring, why don't you leave a comment about how much you hate it," I asked, knowing that my faithful readers would blast him to kingdom come if he tried any such thing. (You got my back, and I know it.)
"I don't know how to leave a comment," he said.
You're so stupid, Handsome Prince. That's why I love you.
And the nice thing is, I can say whatever I want about him here and he won't be able to retaliate because he can't figure out how to leave a comment.