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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Tuesday, July 06, 2004


I received this e-mail today at work:

Dear sir or madam,

I was browsing through the results from a search engine when I came across your site. It has a lot of good, relevant information

Red Flag. You don't read Toaster Oven. Good relevant information? If you consider "The Rock" and long distance crushes to be relevant, I suppose....

I was hoping that we could exchange links. Doing so would not only help our regular visitors find other useful pages, but it would also make our sites rank higher in search engines like Google, AOL, MSN, and Yahoo. Exchanging links would be free and beneficial for both of our sites.

Sir, my readers would never forgive me for linking to your site. NCAA information? Please. Besides, do you know how high I rank in Google searches from midwestern housewives looking to buy a toaster oven?

My web page is over 4 years old and receives more than 2,000 visitors a day.

Braggart. I've been blogging for less than a year and get 140 visitors a day. In four years I will make you want to cry when you see how many hits I get every day. People in New York can't even sleep at night because they are up wondering about whether or not I'll write about who I flirted with at CC Slaughters last night.

I try to offer the best information available on any topic I think my visitors would appreciate,

I must have missed your entry about Madonna changing her name to Esther.

but concentrate mostly on NCAA enthusiast related information and services. The site has sections for every NCAA team.

I definitely support the advancement of all minorities, but I am not interested in linking to you. I'm sorry.


If you'd like to exchange links for our mutual benefit, please respond to this email. I'd be happy to discuss it with you. My phone number is ###

Sigh. Another person begging for phone sex. It's pathetic. Good thing I jotted his number down before I deleted the e-mail.

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