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Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Poll Results

What does Hot Toddy fantasize about?
I met my boyfriend last weekend at the coast. He was a parasailor. You might think that is someone who propels himself around in a wheelchair by breathing into a straw device, but you would be wrong.

Actually, he wasn't even parasailing. He was kitesurfing. I just wanted to use that parasailing joke because making fun of disabilities is "comedy gold".

So, to answer the question, "What Does Hot Toddy Fantasize About", which won the poll (you can find it on your right, but it's too late to vote now, so I guess you have learned a hard lesson about procrastinating, haven't you?) I am going to tell you about my boyfriend.

Jake Sampson, Kitesurfer, is 35 years old. I watched him through binoculars this weekend. Once I saw his strength and stamina as he rode the waves, I realized that he and I are in a committed loving relationship. I began telling the Yum Yum Brotherhood all about Jake and was amazed at how much I know about him considering the fact that we have never spoken and I've only seen him from a distance.

Jake moved to Oregon two years ago after seeing a story on Oprah about an Oregon family whose home was destroyed in a fire. Jake was at Princeton finishing one of his many degrees, and he decided to come to Oregon with Habitat for Humanity and help the Schadenfreude family rebuild their house.

Jake and I actually met when we were both hiking on a trail and he offered to share his gorp with me. Then when I choked, he gave me the Heimlich maneuver. After he saved my life, we started making out, and I began gagging again but it wasn't from Gorp that time.

So, anyway, Jake is in Marketing. I think he is a VP or something. He found out how much I love animals and decided to get his veterinary license so he could care for strays. He also has a trust fund and says that he can support me if I decide I want to act or write full-time.

He is a rough but gentle lover, and he has a jealous streak so please stop writing flirtatious comments on my blog. He becomes very rough with me in bed when people flirt with me, so - you know what. Never mind. Write whatever you want.

The second question people most want answered has to do with my shoe size. You can go here for more information about my shoes.

As for the third question, I don't just give my phone number out to anybody. You have to ask for it. Be warned, if you call when I am in bed with Jake I'll have to pretend it's my mom calling or else I'll be sore for days.

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