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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Moving into the Castle
Last night I started moving my stuff into The Handsome Prince's palace. I have never met his parents before, but I finally got a chance to yesterday. They are in town to help THP move into his house. I am certain a made a great impression on them. They were both scrubbing the kitchen floor when I arrived, and I said, "Wow, Handsome Prince, your parents sure are dirty."

I think it was too soon to initiate them into my bizarro world where that is a funny and appropriate greeting for someone you've never met.

I really love the house. And THP's parents. And the changes about to happen in my life. My room is great, and it's a lot bigger than my current bedroom. There will be plenty of space for any acrobatics I attempt in there (and I hope to be doing a lot of acrobatic activity).

THP's dad has his same blue eyes. His mom has the same cute smile. I guess I will have to start calling them The King and The Queen. They are cattle ranchers from Eastern Oregon, so our freezer will always be full of beef. As a vegetarian, that makes me so happy.

According to THP, I have too much kitsch. I'm not sure if he's referring to my artwork (framed "Laverne & Shirley with The Fonz" poster) or my decor (Pottery Barn Eiffel Tower), but he was very upset when I carried my "Snoring Witch" into the house. The Snoring Witch is asleep next to her little broom in her plastic bed and snores when you push a button. As she exhales she emits a witch's cackle.

"No, I told you I hate kitsch! No snoring witches," he bossed.

"I will only put her out at Halloween. I'll keep her in my room," I lied.

A few moments later, THP was stacking boxes in the garage and I came out to ask him if I could set up the christmas tree in the living room. His mom laughed, and I knew she was starting to appreciate Toddy's Bizarro World at last.

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