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Friday, July 23, 2004

Tribe or Mary or Elephant Ears

I feel like Mary Ingalls this morning.

Remember when Mary went blind, and she sat on her bed screaming for Pa? She had a terrified look on her face and tears poured out of her eyes as she cried, "I can't see! It's so dark! It's so dark!"

Well, that is how I feel this morning except that I just had a breakfast burrito (she didn't) and I can see (she couldn't) and I'm actually not even terrified (she was).

Yeah. That wasn't a good analogy.

But one of my co-workers did bring in some weird pastry thing (Elephant Ears?) She brought me two of them but I can't even bring myself to take a bite. They are the strangest pastry ever. Unless there is a pastry made out of mermaid heads. Then THAT would be the strangest pastry ever.

I have been busy with the Gay Bloggers tribe for the past couple days. I'm afraid that we are all going to spend more time messaging about blogging than we are going to spend actually blogging. And now I am blogging about messaging about blogging. I am afraid I might be caught in one of those loops, what do you call it? A fruit loop or something. Some of us in Tribe are worried that we won't be able to keep up with work. I'm worried, not entirely unlike blind Mary Ingalls as she sat crying on her bed. (I knew I could work that in).

These ears are sitting on my desk begging me to try them. Can vegetarians eat elephant ears? Was Mary Ingalls vegetarian? Do you see how my mind works when I let it go? It frightens me. Pa!!!! I'm frightened!!!

Anyway, I answered my phone with my butt last night. I was sitting with THP's family and suddenly felt my cell vibrating in my back pocket. I must have shifted in a moment of pleasure, because I somehow managed to answer the phone with my butt. I promptly told the caller (Boy Hunk) that I had managed to answer the phone with my butt. I was very proud. We had some interference on the line, and he asked if my butt was cutting in. It was all very funny and uproarious and spastic.

But that is not what this post is about. This post, sponsored by Attention Deficit Disorder, is about Tribe.net. Or Mary Ingalls. Or elephant ears. Or maybe it's about....SIDEWALKS!

I noticed a ton of people hanging out on the sidewalk in front of our office this morning. I can't stand having to greet coworkers (not YOU AuburnPisces and Ms. Karma) every time I am leaving the building for a coffee break or a walk around the block. I feel like they are judging me. Even though they are standing around on the sidewalk not working either. I just hate when there are people on the sidewalk. (Some of you New York bloggers may be getting excited right about now, and you know who you are...)

I could use some coffee right now. But if I go outside I will have to deal with my coworkers clustering around the front door like penguins on the last remaining ice block during a spring thaw. Maybe I could just sit here and eat my (gag) ears. Yuck.

What would Mary Ingalls do? Probably fall down the stairs on her way outside. That was so not funny. Making fun of blind people like that. I apologize if you are blind and are reading this blog. I apologize mostly because I can't fathom how you could do that, and I'm sorry for my own confused state.

So, I guess there is no avoiding it. I will go get coffee even though there is always someone else on the sidewalk. If not, I will personally eat my ears.

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